


Breathe For Me

by Lunachu



Category: SHINee
Genre: Angst, Illness, M/M, Multi, cystic fibrosis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-29
Updated: 2014-05-30
Packaged: 2018-01-26 23:39:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1706801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunachu/pseuds/Lunachu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lee Taemin, a 18 year old boy with Cystic Fibrosis, struggles to live a normal life through his disease.</p>
<p>Things get a damn lot harder when 4 angels literally fall into his life and begin destroying the facade he's put in place.</p>
<p>Only Kim Jongin really knows what Taemin is going through, but will Onew, Minho, Jonghyun and Key be able to worm their way into his life?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'm Alright

**Author's Note:**

> This will not be written that quickly...
> 
> Please be patient with my updates! I'm currently in the middle of getting an apprenticeship and my own health can be quite poor, as well as the obvious procrastination, so please do not expect regular updates, although I will try to get a schedule going!
> 
> This fic will contain swearing and a five way relationship! Onew, Taemin, Jonghyun, Key and Minho are all in a relationship with each other! I've seen this type of relationship happen before, both in real life and in fanfiction, and I believe it's one of the cutest things in the world!
> 
> I hope you enjoy my story! I hope to be accurate with my representation of such a terrible disease, please point out any mistakes to me!

“Taemin, sweetie, you don’t have to go to school today if you’re not ready.” That was the 4th time his mother had said that in the hour that he’d been awake. 

“Mom, really, I’m fine to go. I want to do this. I need to do this.” Taemin sighed as he ran his long, thin fingers through recently straightened hair. “I’ll be okay. I’ve got my pills, Kai will be with me the whole day... It’ll be okay, I promise I’ll call you every break alright?”

His mother nodded, although she still looked worried. “Alright... you promise?”

“I promise.”

She let out a quiet sigh, gently cupping the back of Taemin’s head and pulling him towards her, placing a kiss on the top of his amber hair. “Just be careful, I’m not happy about you going back, but if you seriously want to...”

“I do, Mom, please.”

She sighed again, nodding and placing another light kiss on his small nose, smiling at him. “Go ahead and grab your bag, I’ll take you in the car to school.” 

Taemin couldn’t help but grin. “Can I go swimming afterwards?”

“We’ll see how you feel, don’t push it.”

The grin fell away. “Mom, I’m not invalid. I can live a normal life you know.”

“I know, I know, I just want you to be healthy.”

A frown formed on his face, anger bubbling in his stomach. “Well I’m never going to be healthy, Mom! I have this illness for life! It’s never going to go away! It’s going to kill me and we both know it, I just want to live a normal life until then! For crying out loud, it’s your fault I’m sick anyway! The illness is genetic, remember? I got the gene from you and dad! So don’t use the “I just want you to be healthy” crap on me! It’ll never happen! Get over it!” With his face red and his battered lungs heaving for breath, Taemin grabbed the backpack sat in the doorway and stormed out of the kitchen, barging past Taesun and straight out of the apartment door, heading down into the street.

“Taemin..?” Taesun started, before hearing his mother’s distraught sobs. Leaving his younger brother to storm off, he hurried to his mother’s side.

\--------

Taemin walked down the street quickly, frowning and seething with anger as he did so. How dare she act like all the bad crap was happening to her! She didn’t have to go through the physiotherapy several times every day, she didn’t have to take a cocktail of pills every day, or have to cough up thick, gunky crap every 10 minutes. All she had to do was sit there and watch him.

His pace slowed a little, the frown falling from his face. Then again, he had been a little out of order with what he’d said. It wasn’t her fault really, she hadn’t wished it upon him... Taemin let out an angry sigh, running a hand through his straightened hair; long enough to reach past his shoulders now that he’d decided to grow it out. He’d acted out of line, he knew that.

‘I guess my excuse is that when you feel so crap all the time, you get sick of people’s sympathy...’ He muttered under his breath while hoisting his bag up higher on his back. Taemin couldn’t deny the twist of guilt in his chest as he walked. Or was that some more mucus? No, guilt, definitely guilt. 

Taemin’s phone buzzed in his pocket. Shifting his bag slightly so it rested more securely on his back without relying on his hand to told it there, he pulled out the battered blackberry from his pocket, reading the text he’d been sent. 

From Taesun-Hyung

What the hell did you do?

‘Oh crap.’

To Taesun-Hyung

I didn’t mean to. I just lost my temper.

From Taesun-Hyung

Yeah well lose your temper somewhere else, Mom doesn’t need your woe is me crap. I know you feel terrible at the moment but Mom is doing everything she can to make this easier for you, don’t be a dick.

To Taesun-Hyun

I know, I’m sorry.

Taemin put his phone away, wiping his face a little as a pre-emptive strike to the tears that threatened his fall. He hated his mood swings with a passion, but he just didn’t understand.

Why him? Taesun had the same genes, as did his parents apparently since he got it from them, but why did the gene have to react in him only? Why was he the only one who had to suffer?

He’d never wish the illness on anyone else of course, it made his life hell. He just didn’t understand. Why him?

“Taemin-ah!” A familiar voice called, pulling the sick boy out of his self-monologue. 

“Jongin-ah!” Taemin said, a grin growing on his face as he ran towards his best friend. Jongin was quite tall, a little taller than Taemin himself although he was slightly younger. People often told them they looked alike, having the same lip and eye shape, but the boys didn’t really see it.

“It’s Kai now, remember?” Jongin reminded, gently elbowing Taemin in the side.

Taemin rolled his eyes. Jongin had recently begun a band with 11 other guys, pretty much their entire group of friends, and a few of them were now using “stage names” since their real names weren’t “idol” enough for them. Jongin was one of them. But Taemin, having known Kai for the majority of his life, found it odd to call Jongin by any other name.

“Yeah yeah, I remember. Are any of the others here yet?”

“Tao and Kris just got here,” Zitao and Yifan then. “Baek and Chanyeol got here earlier too. I don’t think the others are in until this afternoon, but I’ll text them to let them know you’re back. How’d everything go, by the way? Are you feeling any better? How’s yo-”

“Jongin, please.” Taemin interrupted, beginning to walk forward while tucking a piece of hair behind his ear so he could see better. “I’m fine otherwise I wouldn’t be back at school.”

“Alright... do you have your ne-”

“Yes.”

“What about y-”

“Yup.”

“And you-”

“Uh huh.”

“Taemin let me finish!”

“Jongin-ah, Mom packed my bag this morning, you think she’d let me forget anything like that? I have everything I need.” Taemin let out a small cough, covering his mouth just in case any of the thick, sticky grossness decided to escape. Jongin instantly joined his side, rubbing his back. “I’m okay, I’m alright.”

“If you’re sure...” Jongin trailed off, eyeing Taemin uncertainly.

“I’m sure, let’s get to the others.” 

Jongin nodded, beginning to walk with Taemin over to the canteen where Kris, Tao, Chanyeol and Baekhyun sat around a circular table, chatting animatedly. Chanyeol was the first to look over to them.

“Taeminnie! You’re back!”

Taemin just smiled a little as Chanyeol’s exclamation caught the others’ attention, the chat stopping instantly. There was a pained silence for a few seconds before the frantic questions started up, all four of them getting up from their chair and crowding around Taemin, throwing their arms around him, patting his back, asking questions about what had happened and how he was feeling.

Right now, Taemin was feeling claustrophobic.

“Guys...GUYS!” Jongin yelled, grabbing the others’ attention. “Give him some breathing room, yeah? He just got out of the hospital!”

Thankfully, the small group backed off, crestfallenly muttering apologies to the thin boy.

Taemin let out a large grin to his friends. “Don’t worry about it! I’m alright, by the way. It was just an infection that got a little bit nasty and needed some stronger antibiotics, that’s all! I’m back to normal now!”

He got various grunts in response as everyone got back in their seats. 

It wasn’t that they didn’t care, Taemin knew that. They just didn’t like to dwell on their friend’s condition.

Or the fact that their friend’s condition had been worsening in the past year, the infections becoming more frequent, the coughing fits harsher...

Taemin joined his friends at the table, pulling out a small tub of still warm kimchi, some rice and a small bottle filled with pills. Trying to discreetly pour some of the pills in his hand, Taemin quickly threw them in his mouth and took Jongin’s offered bottle of water and swallowed, before starting on his food. His daily intake of pills had just started. 

“Taeminnie, what was that? Anything important?” Chanyeol asked. Taemin froze, his chopsticks half way to his mouth, holding a clump of rice. 

“I-It was nothing, don’t worry, just some medication I have to take with food.”

“Oh? What was it? What does it do?”

Taemin resisted the urge to curl up into his shell. He knew Chanyeol meant the best, he wanted to know everything about Taemin’s illness so he knew how to help and he knew what was going on with his friend. But really, Taemin wanted to keep that stuff to himself. The cocktail of pills he took every day, along with a high calorie diet he had to have, embarrassed the boy. He hated how obviously different his life was to other teenagers his age. 

“They’re, um, enzymes to help me break down the food, that’s all. My pancreas doesn’t work very well at the moment.”

“Oh, like when people have diabetes?”

“Something like that, Yeol.” 

Chanyeol seemed to get the point that Taemin didn’t really want to talk about it, going back to chatting with Baekhyun.

It wasn’t long before Taemin was done eating his breakfast and his group were heading to their first class of the day. Mathematics. 

Oh the joys of high school.


	2. Maybe I'm Not..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taemin might not be as healthy as he likes to act...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise if anything in this chapter is hard to understand, I wrote the first half while high on cold medication and the other half while having quite a high fever! So I'm not sure how coherent this will be, but thank you for reading!

“I’ll expect that homework to be done by next lesson, which in case some of you have forgotten, is two days away.” A chorus of groans filled the classroom as the students glanced over the worksheet in their hands, scanning over the questions that their English tutor had given them. “Ah, Taemin.” One of the only quiet students looked up at the sound of his name. “I’m glad to see you’re back with us, let me know if there’s anything I can do.”

“T-thank you, Lau-ssi.” Taemin gave his teacher a forced smile, before looking back down at the work sheet, trying to make sense of the words staring back at him. Every teacher he’d had that day had said the same thing. ‘I’m glad your back.’ ‘We missed you.’ ‘Let me know if there’s anything we can do to help.’ ‘Make sure you tell someone the minute you feel unwell.’ It was the same shit he heard every time he ended up in the hospital; it basically became one big pity mush in his head. Their words meant nothing any longer.

“Remember, it’s Mr Lau in this class, English, remember Taemin-ah?”

“Yes, Mr Lau, sorry, Mr Lau.”

“Don’t worry about it, you’ve been gone for a while.” Taemin flinched. Everyone loved reminding him about how much he’d missed. “If you need any help with this sheet just let me know, you fell quite a bit behind. Then again, Jongin-um-Kai might be able to help you.” He gave Jongin a friendly smile at the words, before turning back and addressing the rest of the class. “Alright class, you’re free to go. I expect all homework be completed to a good standard and to be handed in on time. That means you, Luhan. On time, please.” The class laughed a little as the deer faced boy flushed red and hide his face behind a textbook.

Taemin stood, coughing slightly as he leant over and began putting his textbook and stationary in his backpack, along with his Korean-English dictionary. He flinched again when a light, warm hand placed itself on his trembling back, strong fingers pressing into his shoulder blades soothingly.

“Are you alright?” Jongin asked, brow furrowing gently as he continued to rub Taemin’s back. The boy in question tried to nod, but only more harsh coughs escaped at the movement, knees buckling below his body. “Tae!” Jongin exclaimed, grabbing his best friend around the waist and helping lower him to the floor as Taemin struggled to breathe through the thick mucus that had taken residence in his lungs and throat. 

Jongin almost burst into tears as Taemin’s lips began to pale, taking on a terrible powder blue tone as he took shallow, wheezing gasps. “Lau-ssi! Lau-ssi help me..!” 

Mr Lau instantly dropped to his knees beside the two boys, a few other students beginning to crowd around as they realised what was happening. 

“Taemin, listen to me. Take deep breaths. Do you have your nebuliser with you?”

The teenager gave a slight nod, wheezing horribly while rubbing at his throat and chest, pounding between his ribs with a weak fist.

“I-In your bag?” Jongin stuttered out, trying desperately to keep his cool. At Taemin’s second nod, Jongin quickly reached over, scrabbling through the backpack to try and find the familiar white and blue case. Finding it after a few seconds, he yanked it out of the backpack and quickly began setting it up, something he’d had to do only twice before.

Jongin had never been so grateful for Taemin’s mother insisting he knew how to help Taemin breathe. ‘Just in case I’m not around.’ She’d told him all those years ago. Attaching the mask to the end of the long tube, Jongin quickly strapped the oxygen mask onto Taemin’s face before connecting the medicine and turning the machine on.

“Deep breaths, Taemin. This is just your DNase. It’ll help, okay? Deep breaths and let it work.” Mr Lau coached, holding the mask securely on Taemin’s face while Jongin helped his friend sit upright. After a few minutes of the enzyme being forcefully pumped into his body, Taemin began to cough harder, leaning over and ripping the mask off.

Taking his cue, Jongin began to hit Taemin’s back, beating it with rhythmic, strong hits that he’d been taught. After about a minute of constant beating from Jongin and encouragement from Lau, thick, sticky mucus began to fly from Taemin’s hacking throat, splattering on the floor as the gunk continued to get dislodged, the enzyme he had inhaled having thinned the substance enough to dislodge it from his lungs.

Taemin slumped against Jongin, taking long, shuddering breaths, his heart feeling as though it was going to join the disgusting gloop on the floor as it beat strongly and frantically in his chest, threatening to leap out at the strain his body was placing on the organ. Despite his discomfort, Taemin could feel Jongin trembling beneath him, strong arms wrapped around his best friend as if reassuring himself that Taemin was still there. 

Slowly reaching up, the older tapped his dongsaeng’s cheek lightly, giving a small grin. “I’m okay, Jongin. Don’t worry.” With that said, he began to sit up. 

“Not so fast, Taemin.” Mr Lau scolded, pushing on Taemin’s shoulder so he was back in his previous position. “You need to relax for a few minutes, I’ll go get Miss Hyoyeon to call your parents.”

“N-no!” Taemin gasped, quickly sitting up despite previous warnings. “You can’t tell her! It was hard enough to get her to let me to come to school today!”

Mr Lau sighed. “Taemin, I can’t just not tell her.”

“Yes you can! It was nothing serious, I’m fine.”

“Tae, you couldn’t breathe...” Jongin gently reminded, not wanting the push, but knowing how defensive Taemin often got over his condition.

“I’m fine. You know as well as I do that it’s normal.” Taemin growled.

“Okay, okay... Mr Lau, I’m thankful for your help, really, but I’ll take it from here, okay? I’ll walk him home and make sure he’s okay.”

Mr Lau stared at Jongin for a few seconds, giving Taemin the feeling that their teacher was reading his best friend, judging his intentions, before giving a small nod. “Alright. I’ll trust you, Kai. Taemin, look after yourself tonight, alright? I don’t want a repeat. I’ll talk to the students who saw that little... incident... in the morning and make sure they don’t bring it up with you. Don’t come in tomorrow unless you’re feeling well.”

Taemin, having calmed a little now the threat of his mother finding out had faded, smiled a little. “Does this mean I get out of the homework?”

“No.” Mr Lau grinned, placing a large hand on Taemin’s head and mussing up the long hair. “You still have to do the work. Ask if you have any troubles with it, okay? Kai, look after him.” Mr Lau stood before walking out of the classroom, most likely to go and have some coffee to calm his nerves.

The two teenagers sat in silence for a few moments, before Jongin grinned over at the prone boy. “Teacher’s pet.”

Taemin hit Jongin lightly in the chest. “Shut the hell up, you know you’re his favourite.”

“Yeah yeah, get up you lump. Let’s go.” Jongin grasped Taemin’s hand, pulling the boy to support him until he was upright. “You feeling alright?”

“I’m fine now that crap is out of my lungs.”

“I bet. Let’s go home then.” Jongin began to walk out of the room, stopping in the doorway and turning back to Taemin. “Oh, yeah, Taesun text me..”

Taemin visibly paled.

“Apologise to your mom, alright? Come on.” Jongin then continued walking, Taemin jogging behind to keep up. 

“Yeah yeah, I know, I acted like a dick. I didn’t mean to, honest.”

“Tae, you always act like a dick.”

“Hey!”

“What? It’s true!”

Taemin pouted, punching Jongin in the arm as they exited the school and began walking down the road towards Taemin’s block of flats. “Some best friend you are, you bully!”

“Only telling the truth,” Jongin grinned over at him, the usual gleeful spark back in his dark eyes. Taemin hated when his illness played up around Jongin, although it happened a lot with them being close. 

His illness seemed to drain the life of his best friend almost as quickly as it was his own.

Taemin’s trail of thoughts was interrupted, however, quite suddenly when a loud whistle of air and a crash almost burst his eardrums.

“W-what the hell?!” Jongin stuttered, grabbing Taemin to stop him walking any further as a cloud of dust began to rise around them, coughs once again ripping from Taemin’s weak lungs as the cement dust irritated them.

They were alone on the street, most of the post-school rush having already ended.

Taemin felt Jongin beginning to pound on his back to help again, but Taemin did nothing to stop him, trying to focus his eyes as the dust settled around them.

“What the..?”

Four figures began to approach from ahead, all of various heights although one of them appeared to be much more muscular than the others, he was also the shortest of the four.

Finally, the dust had cleared enough for Taemin to focus on the four faces that had come to a stop in front of them.

A feline eyed boy, around his age, maybe a little longer, gave a sly grin, eyes crinkling at the corners as he put out a manicured hand.

“Hello, Lee Taemin. We’re your guardian angels.”


End file.
